Wow, I really don't post that much, do I?

( 2009 list )

I think I just found a new user pic... :)

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=569745

They say, "Funerals are more for the living than for the dead". I never really understood that before attending my favorite Aunt's funeral the other day. I'd like to talk about that and the one positive thing I learned about Catholicism.

( linky doodle )

The Parable of the Parable 1. There once was a group of people who did not want to hear one specific thing. Whenever they heard even the slightest inkling regarding THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC X, they became instantaneously irrational. They were otherwise perfectly normal, decent people. 2. One day a stranger entered the group and started to speak in public about THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC X! His head was promptly cut off, and bandied about on a silver platter. "He should've known better," is all they'd say. "That's what happens when you blaspheme and talk openly about THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC X!" 3. Another day another stranger entered the group. He was a friend of the previous stranger--but he didn't come for revenge! He came only to talk to the people about THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC X. As it turns out this man thought THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC X was the most important thing in the world to discuss. But he knew he couldn't discuss it freely lest his head get chopped off. So he'd talk about THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC X without really talking about it. He wouldn't mention it directly. He'd only talk about it in parables. He did not say anything to them without using a parable. Needless to say he confused a lot of people... 4. Eventually he, too, was killed for saying too much about THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC X. But even though he died, his parables lived on. They were told and retold a thousand times. Everyone started talking about THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC X in this "new" and exciting way. Thus his message, his body of work, his very "spirit" was able to live on in the hearts of others. Wouldn't it be great to hear a parable about him (about how he "conquered" death)? Or is that ANOTHER FORBIDDEN TOPIC X?

cheers,

MITCHELL

The Parable of the Eldest Child 1. There once was a family with one father, one mother, and one child. They spent all of their time together. They loved one another. And they never fought. Then a new son and daughter entered the family... 2. All of a sudden, the parents didn't have as much time to spend with their eldest child. Instead, they spent most of their time creating a beautiful little Garden of Eden for the newbies. They created a lavish nursery with all kinds of wonderfully painted plants and animals on the walls. Thousands of toys seemed to appear from nowhere. It was like a whole new world was created just for them. 3. The eldest child never had any of that. He started to feel unloved and abandoned. He also started fighting with his parents over the silliest of things. One day he even stormed off, vowing never to return again! 4. But he would return every once in awhile. He would sneak back into the Garden and mess with his younger siblings. He would trip them when they tried to walk. He would tease them and hurt them and make them get in trouble with their parents. He took it upon himself to make them pay for being loved more than he was... 5. Adam and Eve (the two youngest siblings) were eventually thrown out of the Garden. They were caught misbehaving along with the eldest child, and were punished accordingly. (But since the eldest child "started it", he was punished much harsher than they were.) 6. It's a shame that the parents didn't see any of this coming "in the beginning". But it's an even greater shame to demonize the eldest child and act like he's the only one to blame for the family's problems.

cheers,

MITCHELL

Jacob's Evolution 1. There once was man named Jacob who felt cheated by his employer. But no matter how angry Jacob got, he wouldn't let his anger show. He hid his anger--pretended it didn't exist--and went back to work. 2. One day when Jacob was tending his employer's flocks, a strange idea came to him: Jacob should steal the one thing that his employer loves the most! But no, thought Jacob, that's a silly idea. How could he think that? Stealing is always wrong. 3. Some of the goats that Jacob tended were spotted. And when the spotted goats mated with non-spotted ones, the offspring were always spotted. "Too bad you don't own the spotted ones", said a voice in Jacob's head. "If you stole them, then..." No!, said Jacob to himself. That's a horrible idea! I wouldn't do that! Stealing is always wrong. 4. One day Jacob noticed Laban, his employer, worshiping an idol. The idol was a household god. "You should take that away from him," said the voice. "Idolatry is far worse than..." No!, Jacob shouted. "Get out of my head!" What you want me to do is wrong! 5. Jacob was getting worried. He kept dreaming about harming his employer in different ways. "This isn't like me at all," he thought. Finally, he decided to quit his job and move far, far away. But when he mentioned quitting to Laban, Laban didn't want him to leave. Laban begged him to stay, saying "name your price!" That's when the voice in Jacob's head became Divine. "Jacob," said the voice. "Here I am," he answered. "Ask for ownership of the spotted animals." Jacob asked for this, and Laban agreed. 6. For the next several years Jacob bred his spotted animals with Laban's animals. The offspring were always spotted. Thus, Jacob's flocks grew greater in number, and Laban's flocks dwindled in size. Better still, the bad dreams that had kept Jacob awake at night suddenly went away. "This must be a miracle," thought Jacob. "I must be blessed." 7. Jacob had many children and he told them all about the divine voice, and all about the good things that happen to you when you listen to it. His children passed this story to their children. And they passed it to their children. And so on. "Jacob spoke with the LORD," they said. And in a way, they were right.

cheers,

MITCHELL

P.S. If you've enjoyed this story, you may want to read Genesis 29:14 through 31:55.

In a recent discussion w/ thehonorableryu, I was asked if St. Paul ever mentioned physical death. This topic came up because I mentioned a few times that Paul uses a lot of allegorical language, and thus might not be speaking about a "physical death" when speaking about the "death" of Jesus.

So I wrote up a short commentary on 2 of Paul's epistles about death (Romans and 2 Cor). (And since this had little to do with the original thread, and was buried deep within that thread, I'm posting it here.)

( bring out cher dead! )

In case you don't read my community that often, here's a link to my NEW Convert_Me Challenge. :)

In case anyone's been wondering what I've been doing for the last few months, I've recently finished reading the 2nd Book of Mormon (and I just posted a rather lengthy SSMF about it here).

cheers,

MITCHELL

I recently read Carl Sagan's "new" book, The Varieties of Religious Experience.

( Here are the parts I'd like to remember. )

I recently read this version of the Bhagavad-Gita. Below is a list of 10 similarities between the Bible and the Gita.

( Similar? How? ;) )

Wow, that was so much easier than my quiz. ;)

1. Intro
1.1. I'd like to combine all of the things I've learned about the origin of Orthodox Christianity into one managable list (currently, my notes on this topic are far too random and chaotic for my liking). The way I see it, the more organized they are, the better I can remember them (and the better I can share them with others).

1.2. I call these random bits of information my "Super Secret Mitchell Facts" (the SSMFs). I think these facts are what drew me away from Orthodox Christianity as a whole. Perhaps if you can discount one of my SSMFs you can convert_me. :)

1.3. Thus, I'll be posting these in convert_me (where many more people might be reading them), and linking them all here in this thread.

2. Links to the SSMFs

SSMF #1 = The Ending of Mark

SSMF #2 = On Copying and Correcting

SSMF #2.01 = Propter Hoc Prophecies

SSMF #2.02 = The Epic of Gilgamesh

SSMF #2.03 = Killing Jesus

SSMF #2.04 = Willy Wonka vs Jesus Christ

SSMF #2.05 = Other Gospels

SSMF #2.06 = Antiquities, Book 1

SSMF #2.07 = Antiquities, Book 2

SSMF #2.08 = Doctrines & Covenants

SSMF #3 = 613 Commandments

SSMF #4 = Religious Phagocytosis (or "Phagotheosis")

SSMF #5 = Nostradamus

SSMF #6 = Intro to Paul

SSMF #6.01 = What's Paul Missing?

SSMF #6.02 = Coulda/Shoulda Quoted Jesus

SSMF #6.03 = Peculiar Pauline Passages

SSMF #7 = Biblical Parallels

cheers,

MITCHELL

The Parable of the Rich Man 1. There once was a rich man who wouldn't share his wealth. His money made him more powerful than all of his neighbors. He was envied by all. 2. His neighbors wanted to be powerful, too, but nothing in their world could compete with the rich man's wealth. Therefore, they sought power from another world. 3. Earthly wisdom belonged to the rich man. Therefore, otherworldly wisdom was sought: Anyone who told them what they wanted to hear became their prophet. Anyone who slandered "rich men" became their saint. 4. They weren't nice people. But then again, the rich man wasn't very nice either. Often his neighbors would ask him for money--sometimes they would even ask him politely--and he wouldn't give it to them! And just as the rich man wouldn't share his wealth, his neighbors wouldn't share their "Other World" with him. With an evil smile, and with hate in their eyes, they would preach their otherworldly wisdom and say: "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter our kingdom." 5. They would also say: "Blessed are the poor, for they will inherit the Other World." 6. They would also say: "No one can serve two masters. You cannot serve both God and Money." 7. And one of their most pernicious of sayings was: "The love of money is the root of all evil." 8. Whenever a rich man was mocked, or whenever a rich man's money was slandered in some way, his neighbors would be filled with the most glorious kind of pleasure known to man: rosemary-sweet revenge. They basked in this pleasure. They revelled in it. They sang songs of praise when they felt it. But they didn't call it "revenge". "Revenge" is something that evil people do, and they could not see any evil associated with their Other World. It gave them so much pleasure: how could it be evil? 9. Eventually, the rich man died and was burried. He had no children. He left no lasting legecy. His name was eventually forgotten. But the stories that his neighbors told each other lived on: for there are always more "neighbors" than rich men. Thus spoke Zarathustra.

cheers,

MITCHELL

p.s. I'm still debating whether or not to end it with "Thus spoke Zarathustra". ;)

I'm not sure if I'll ever post another poem (I have very high standards). But I've been working on this one for some time now, and I think it's almost perfect. Enjoy.

The Spirit of Gravity

Jesus wept (John 11:35).
Mohammed frowned (Sura 80:1).
The virtue of seriousness is paraded around.
Prophets that smile?
Gods that dance?
Happiness and happenstance? --the West will not allow it!

Buddha smiled.
Shiva danced.
And therein, my friend, lies the Great Differance;
Between the East and West.


cheers,

MITCHELL